The Penguin, by Vera Wang

I am at a friend's wedding (that already happened earlier this year).  My friends and I are sitting outside on chairs set up in the grass watching what seems like a combination of the ceremony and reception.  The couple is still technically getting married, but people are eating, drinking, bridesmaids (including me) are sitting in the back with their shoes off, etc.  It is very late, I remember something about 3am.  We are drinking, but don't want to get too sloshed at the wedding.  Everyone is saying that once this thing is over, we will go party.  BUT IT'S NOT ENDING!  Plus, there's a cute girl here I'm trying to talk to/get drunk so she'll make out with me.  Eventually, everything ends and my friends decide to call it a night.  I lose my chance to party AND my chance to make out.  nuts.  As I turn around to leave, I realize that all of the wedding guests are wearing the exact same costume.  The bridesmaids wore black, so everyone else wore black and bright green vertical striped pants, black short jackets, and green shirts and vests.  Essentially, everyone looks like Batman's villian, The Penguin.  WTF????

Clown Town, USA

I am leaving a building in a big city with my mother.  As I reach the sidewalk, a feeling of "the creeps" washes over me.  I turn around to find a very short, white-faced, mime-like person dressed in a black and white French clown costume standing RIGHT behind me.  Jesus fuck, ew!  (Clowns and spiders may be the worst things in the world.  Forget Hitler or AIDS...clowns and spiders, man).  I just want to get away and run frantically to the car.
We get to the car safely and I'm burning rubber to get out of there.  I turn a corner to find a women wearing a costume that is like a cross between something from Carnaval and Michael Myers.  Her hair is huge and wild, cloak flowing, holding a shovel upright like a sword, wearing an expressionless white ceramic mask.  I attempt to swerve more to get away from her, than to avoid hitting her.  As I pass her, she smashes out my back window with the shovel.  AHHH!  She tries to jump and grab onto the back of the car.  I am flinging my car all over the road, trying to shake her off.
Then, suddenly, it's over.  Apparently, this is a sort of real world ride or fun house.  People pay for this.  I'm still scared shitless as I'm mingling in the crowd, talking with the actors, including Mardi Gras Michael Myers.  I can't stop thinking how fucked up this is.  The little French clown is still staring at me through the crowd.

S.O.S. to my mother

 

This dream starts out as any horror movie does:  everything is fine, some friends and I are having fun, I have a love (lust) interest....but not for long.

I'm hanging out at what is supposed to be my house with a group of people who are involved in some type of theater or performance.  They are dressing up in costumes and trying on wigs, etc.  Somebody is supposed to be Lady Gaga.  It's about 3am.  There's a girl who I am interested in and we are flirting and kissing a little.  My mom is in the kitchen making everyone cheesesteaks.  This makes perfect sense.

Sudden scene change:  a run-down toy store in Philadelphia.  The lighting is sickly fluorescent, the doors and windows are boarded up, and the shelves are covered with black plastic trash bags.  This seems to be some sort of HQ for our resistance against whatever is happening outside.  I am coming and going out of this toy store, but each time I do, less of my allies return.  I slowly start to realize that people around me are being infected.  I know that someone has been infected when they begin sitting and lying on the sidewalks like homeless people.  Soon, the streets are filled with euphoric, lazy, zombies.  I see many people from my life (including the current love interest) lining the streets and I begin to panic.  I run back to HQ only to be told that my mother has gone missing.  My friend thinks he knows where she is.  He says we will go rescue her and then escape on the only working and safe subway line left in the city.  We enter the backdoor of a building, into a stairwell.  Down goes to the subway train, and up goes to where my mom is being held.  Up we go.  My friend is in front of me on the stairs.  He gets to the top and opens the stairwell door.  In that moment, a panicked, uninfected person is running down the hallway past the door.  My friend grabs him and hacks/spits/coughs/projects blood at his face, which splatters on the window of the  stairwell door as it's closing.  HOLY FUCK!  That son of a bitch has been a zombie this whole time!  His plan was to infect ME!  I book down the stairs to the subway.  The train is pulling away and I jump onto the back of the last car.  I relax, thinking I've escaped.  But, suddenly the train starts slowing down.  I peer around the side of the train to see a wall of zombies standing across the train tracks, holding shovels, baseball bats, and other blunt, heavy, human-killing weapons.  Game over.  I wake up covered in sweat.

"S.O.S. to my mother.  Take the hinges off the door" - Tegan and Sara - "Like O, Like H"