foot soldier

I am in a hospital for some reason, although, it looks the hallway leading the to back door of my elementary school.  There is a nurse's desk in the center.  While I'm here, I complain that my feet hurt.  A doctor looks at them and tells me they hurt because I have too much foot skin. What? 

He then proceeds to quickly set up an area and a few surgical tools and before I know it, he is cutting away skin from my foot....WITHOUT any anesthetic.  The nurse is talking up a storm to me and I realize that it's in order to distract me.  Of course, at the same time I realize this, I also begin to feel EVERYTHING the doctor is doing.

When he is done, I am told I can put my shoes on and go.  No instructions or aftercare.  No one seems phased by any of this.  I look down and I have red, raised lesions and stitches running in a continuous line around the sides of my feet, around and in between each toe.

My feet feel better.


I wonder where my skin went....hmmm....

This song was the soundtrack to my sleep last night:  Florence + The Machine ~ Between Two Lungs

Freddy Krueger is an asshole

Before I recount this dream, I should make something clear.  I have an irrational fear of the movie monsters of our generation: Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers, Chuckie, Pinhead, etc.  When I was young, I had an older cousin who couldn't get enough of these movies, and even though my parents never let us watch them, my sister and I were exposed to these abominations of the human creative mind anyway.  My cousin had the Freddy glove, hat, and sweater, hockey mask, posters, and once he discovered our weakness, pounced on every opportunity to exploit it.  I don't blame him at all, I'm sure I have done similar things to my younger sister.  The ridiculous part, the part that I only admitted to him recently, is that I was regularly haunted by nightmares starring these villains until I reached (embarassingly) my late teens/early 20s.

I've heard all the adult explanations and dismissals of my fears.  These movies are stupid.  That could never happen.  The plot doesn't even make sense.  Also, the peer mockery.  Don't be such a crybaby.  What are you, scared?  YES.  I also tried to heed the advice of "face your fear" several times.  In middle school, I forced myself to see quite a few of these movies.  It didn't work.  In fact, I think it made it worse.  No matter how clearly I knew that what I was watching was silly, poorly written, fake, etc., it became very real and plausible once I was alone in the dark.

I think my issue with these characters, outside of childhood fear, is that they don't play by the rules of the universe.  I hate to say it, but I like rules.  I know what is supposed to happen, and even if I choose to break said rule, I can wager a good guess what will happen then too.  These guys aren't fair.  How many times have they killed Freddy or Jason?  They don't die.  Freddy is the shadiest because he fucks with you when you are asleep.  Sucker punch.  Come out of the shadows, bitch, and try to kill me like a man.  The only way to avoid him is to stay awake?  FUCK!  I spend most of my day planning for when I can go back to sleep.  Ok, yeah, Hannibal Lecter could get you in your sleep too.  But if you woke up as he bit into you and you stabbed in the fucking neck, he would die.  These are the rules of the universe.  Shit, even "The Exorcist" shows that there are ways to get rid of the devil.  THE DEVIL!  The supposed worst thing ever even has a weakness.

Now, this may sound like I'm a sissy about scary things.  Maybe I am.  But I think the root here is that I have a problem with violence for the sake of violence.  However, let's take a movie like Braveheart or Saving Private Ryan - absolutely violent and brutal, yet real and with a purpose.  War is and always will be innate to man, but getting dragged into another dimension by a puzzle box and tortured is not!  The real world is scary enough, I don't need these sick minds adding anymore turds to the punchbowl.

Here's a list of crap-yourself-out-of-fright stuff (both real and imagined): dragons, Hitler, Sauron, Fred Phelps, Sara Palin, killer bees, Aliens, Predators, Zodiac killer, The Duggars, sharks, Scientology, Bin Laden, Rick Santorum, spiders...What do they all have in common, you might ask?  THEY CAN BE DESTROYED!

I'm rambling.  My point is I think these movies make me worry about us as a race.  It frightens me that people want to create and watch movies based solely on their fellow man getting slaughtered in elaborate ways.  It severs the human connection.  Honestly, I think some of these "artists" should be seriously examined and possibly removed from society.  On less global scale, I take it personally.  This garbage upsets me and on top of that, invades my dreams.  Not only do I wake up terrified and covered in sweat, but also infuriated by the effect it has on me.

Enough with the masturbatory complaining, here's the dream:

Freddy is after my mom, my sister, and me.  My sister is a little kid.  I think I'm a bit younger than I am now, but not in the proper age range to match my sister.  My dad is in his workshop in the basement.  I try to tell him what is going on, but he doesn't care and blows me off.  The whole dream jumps in and out of different scenarios where Freddy is chasing us:

• We are on a suburban street.  Freddy turns into a little slightly Asian kid (think every horror movie released in the last five years) on a tricycle.  I know it's Freddy because he is wearing the infamous striped sweater.  At first, this kid was far away, but then quickly moves up the street, like the film is skipping frames.  I panic as I see him coming.  The only weapon I have is a lit cigarette.  As he approaches, I stick it in his eye.
• We are at home.  At this point in the dream, we cannot even THINK about Freddy because then he will appear.  I'm walking through the house and keep seeing signs that he is here - a fedora left on my parents' bed, striped sweater, etc.  I am SCREAMING at my mom and sister to stay awake, not think about him, and stay together.  They aren't helping.  I herd them into my room, lock the door, and am frantically thinking of how to escape.  I have my car keys, phone, money...ok, if we can just get to the car.  Outside my window is the roof of our back porch (not in real life).  We go out the window, climb down, and run around to the front of the house and jump in the car.  My mom drives.  I wish she would not turn the engine or lights on and just put it in neutral and roll out of the driveway.  Of course, she just starts the car instead, and as we get to the corner, Freddy comes out of the house and sees us.
• Next, I am alone in my room, but am not allowed to leave.  I know Freddy is coming and I HAVE TO GET OUT!  My parents don't believe me or don't care.  I am talking to a childhood friend on the phone, telling her my plight.  I hatch a plan to sneak out.  The only problem is that the only window I can get out faces the back yard, where my parents are.  I've got to try.  I pack a bag and tell my friend to call back in 15mins.  If I answer the phone, that means I couldn't get out, so she should call the police.  Now, my room seems to be on the ground floor.  I push the screen out of the window and start through the frame, when my dad walks by and catches me.
• Last, we are in a hotel running through pink carpeted hallways and echoing stairwells to escape from Freddy.  My sister keeps falling behind and wandering off.  I am screaming with all my might at her to stay with us.  A kindly older man offers to help us get out of the hotel and to safety.  The tension is unbearable.  FREDDY'S ALMOST HERE.  HE'S GOING TO FIND US.  The man directs us toward an elevator and we all run full speed to get inside.  As we turn around, we see my sister still in the hallway and deciding to instead go around the corner and back down the hall we just escaped.  We call her name and yell for her to come back as the elevator doors close.

garden variety

 

I am visiting my ex-girlfriend at her new house.  Apparently, she has begun running her own farm.  She's leading me on a tour of the grounds.  The size of the farm and the variety of produce are astonishing.  Everything looks beautiful, vibrant, and delicious.  I'm a tad jealous, but it's short lived because I'm getting uncomfortable.

It is a brutally hot summer day and I'm trying to avoid walking into the spots of sunshine breaking through the plants and trees.  We come to a little greenhouse where plants are being misted from the ceiling.  The quench on my boiling skin is almost audible. Ahhh, much better.  Oh wait, now we are outside again and I am just as hot as before.

After the tour, we come up to the back of her house, where I find an inground POOL!  I'm instantly annoyed.  I've been melting this whole time and there's been a freakin' pool here?!  I think to myself that it's so like her to neglect to mention this very important fact.  She then explains that they aren't using the pool because it's too cold. grr.

At this point, her mother comes out the back door and makes a fuss about seeing me.  I would have liked to avoid this interaction as I am planning to leave soon.  I don't want anyone getting any wrong ideas about the intention for my visit.  Her mom is asking me to stay, promising that she will make cookies if I do. hmmm... My ex then remarks that it will take too long.  Her mom says that she will make the cookies in the microwave, which will only take 20mins, just enough time for my ex to give me a special hair treatment.  I'm really not interested in having a hair treatment because it's going to involve getting close and touching, which I don't want any part of.  However, in lieu of looking like an asshole, I agree.  During this time, we have gone in the pool anyway and I am even more aggravated to find that it is, in fact, a very comfortable temperature.

In the pool, my ex applies this special hair conditioner to a quarter of my head and then stops because she doesn't feel like it anymore.  I'm pissed.  Appartenly, this is something I can't do myself, so now I'm shit out of luck.  We argue and I attempt to leave in a huff with my hair now looking like something out of an anime cartoon.  I take a few angry steps away when one of her dogs steps in front of me, pops a squat and farts....loud...and comically.  I try to go around, but then dog keeps short-stopping me, squatting and farting.  I can't help but chuckle.

partial nudity, caramel girls, and rock n' roll

I am in the dorm bathroom at college, but of course, it's not actually the college I went to.  I have taken a shower, so I have a towel wrapped around me and my hair is wet.  A friend, who I've never met before in real life, comes in and is telling me to hurry up and that we have to get out there, etc.  I don't know what she's talking about.  We exit the bathroom and are now in the main university student center.  I'm still in a towel.  The place is bustling and I am ushered over to what looks like a book and DVD sale.  Nothing has prices and I'm trying to figure out if these things are free.  I pick up The Terminator and Bourne 3-disc sets, yes!  Then we move over to books, and my "friend" is pointing out books that she thinks I would like.  None of these books are real.  She points out a tome that is the history of The Legend of Zelda.  I remark that I have this book, but haven't had time to read it.

It's very noisy and chaotic in here and I just want to go back to my room and get dried and changed.  My friend (I don't know if it's the same one because all of my friends in this dream are apparently petite Latina girls that look very much alike.  I am not racist) is pulling me away from the books and movies.  As we turn the corner of the kiosk, I notice a small crowd has gathered around something behind a screen.  A closer look reveals that Tegan and Sara are performing a small concert in our student center and have been there the whole time I was looking at stupid books.  OMG!  Why didn't she tell me!  Fuck, I'm not dressed, but I don't want to miss anything so I can't leave.  Now I see that two of my real college girl friends are singing with Tegan and Sara!  I assume this is because they were in an a cappella group at school.  I hate them, but then think that I could use their "in" to meet T&S.  But, shit!, I can't meet them looking like this!
I can't tell what song they are singing, but the crowd keeps pulling in and out like ocean waves.  The crowd becomes huge and pushes me within touching distance of Tegan and Sara.  They are adorable in real life.  Then the wave pulls me backwards and the crowd dissipates to only a few listeners.  This wax and wane happens several times.  It's very irritating because it is distracting me.  My friend and I are dancing around to the music and naturally, fall into of those "are we going to kiss moments".  We do and it's nice.  She suddenly breaks away and yells, "yo, chill out!". I am very confused by this because I don't know what the problem is.  I'm also embarrassed and a little angry. I take her by the arm and explain through my teeth that it was really inappropriate for her to yell out in front of everybody like that.
At some point, I abandon my hopes of meeting Tegan and Sara and any interest in listening.  I have to pee, so I go into the bathroom.  It's crowded and hard to get a stall.  A bunch of my spicy friends are now in the bathroom, yelling, gesturing, and peeking over my stall door.  I just want to go to the bathroom.  I'm still wearing only a towel.  One girl goes into the stall next to me and starts talking about people having sex in public bathrooms.  She then sticks her head under the stall divider and puts her face in my crotch.  (I haven't peed yet).  She pulls back into her stall and continues talking.  I shake my head and sit down on the toilet.  Then I realize that not only did I just sit on a public toilet seat, I did so after just showering...

blood fucking

I'm on an elevated train.  It's supposed to be in Philadelphia, but looks more like New York.  Two college friends who now live in NYC are there, but get off at a stop before me to go to work.  Now I'm alone and not very sure where I am.  I get off the train and the setting turns into Stone Harbor, NJ, a very ritzy, slightly uptight shore town that I haven't visited in years.  I'm walking the streets and come across an adult toy store and decide to duck in.  They have kitschy old porno stuff from the 30s and 40s upstairs.  I find a staircase that leads downstairs to where the hardcore stuff is.  As I'm walking around, I begin to realize that this store is run by vampires.  There are erotic vampire porno and acutriments and the employees are wearing long black clothes, dark eye makeup, and lots of red in their hair.  I don't want to look like a crybaby, so I try to pretend that this is totally normal.

The layout of the store keeps changing, and although I am trying to look as though I am browsing, I decided as soon as I walked into the store that I wanted to buy a vibrator.  I finally locate my goal in a back corner of the store.  There are shelves and shelves of unorganized phallic shapes and other pieces that I have no clue what their function could be. There is one older lady who is not a vampire and I ask her for help.  However, she is not in charge of the vibrators so she pushes me onto the girl who is and is also, naturally, a vampire.  In the meantime, a girl in the store faints and all of the employees rush over to suck her blood.  I am annoyed by this because it distracts my salesperson and I am on a mission.  Quickly after the gorging is over, a bunch of moms with strollers and toddlers by the hand come into the store.  I am trying to ask the sales girl to recommend a vibrator to me.  She is avoiding the question and finally tells me that she can’t sell me anything because there are kids around.  I am told to come back in a few days when there won’t be children.  I explain that I cannot come back in a few days because I am only here on vacation and will be gone by then.  I leave with nothing and realize that I didn’t need to take the train here, because it only would have taken 15 mins to walk from my vacation house.

the long road to breakfast

My friend and I wake up after a night of drinking and decide that we want pancakes.  After a long conversation, we decide where we want to go.  We walk all the way through the streets of Philadelphia to find the restaurant closed.  Heartbroken, we decide to go to another place.  We are now at the Jersey shore on a boardwalk.  We find a back alley pancake place, but still don’t eat.  We are walking through the streets of Philly again and run into a mutual friend.  The two of them decide to play hide and seek in the streets, forgetting about the pancakes.  I find my friend hiding in my car and think the game is over and we will finally eat.  I wake up hungry.