I am in my mom's bedroom and it's very early in the morning. It's still dark outside and there is only one dim lamp on in the room. I am looking in the mirror. It's pajama day at my high school, but I didn't know that until this morning. Even though it is well before I have to be at school, I have no time to get ready and I am panicking. I can't remember if I took a shower last night or if I have to this morning. I stand there frozen, unable to make any decisions. Do I go shower anyway? I'm wearing pajamas now, can I just go to school like this? What time is it? Am I packed for school? I go into my room and pack my school bag with an extra pair of pajama pants and some books. I have a test today that I have not studied for. I don't shower and throw on my college sweatshirt to wear to high school along with the pajama pants that I'm already wearing.
I look out the front door and see my sister, as a little kid, standing at the bus stop. I go out to the bus stop, but only stand there for a few minutes before I come back in the house because I decide that I am very unhappy with my outfit, my pajama outfit. At this point, I am rushing around frantically, but not actually doing anything. I decided that the pants I'm wearing will be too cold, so I will put the other pair on over them. Even though I have made this decision, I don't actually do it. I realize I don't have any makeup on. This makes me really upset, but I don't put any on. What shoes should I wear? (apparently I didn't have any on up until this point).
Now I decide that I don't want to think about pajamas anymore and want to try on outfits that I could wear in the future. I find an old sweater in the closet that I had forgotten about and put it on with some jeans. I look in the mirror and see that I am fatter than I thought I was. My mom tells she she hates that sweater and asks what the hell I'm doing when I have to go to school soon. I'm just trying on outfits when I don't have time for it, duh!
I look out the window and see the bus stop empty. Oh my god! I've missed to bus because of my costume changes. I will have to drive myself to school. Wait, then why was I worried about the bus?
I wake up with a stiff neck and this running through my head:
"You can't start a fire, sitting around crying over a broken heart" ~ Bruce Springsteen, "Dancing in the Dark"
Tegan and Sara - Dancing in the Dark
Passion Pit - Sleepyhead
And this is why I don’t leave the house much…
12 years ago
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